Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
