should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
