Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize