this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Send help, water and tortillas.
Someone came in the potted fern
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
