my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
