why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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