Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
