whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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