She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
