The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
