Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
