He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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