so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
