Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
His nipple licking is glorious
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