My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
