I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you inspire me to be a worse person
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
