your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My ass is underappreciated
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
there is glitter all over my balls
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
