He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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