his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
