Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
