What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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