You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My vagina is very pro this idea
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
