My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
