Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
