fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
