I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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