for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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