hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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