So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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