I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
A bitchslap is in order.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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