we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
