so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
