omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
