What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Bring me that man meat
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