my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
