i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
