batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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