shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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