Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
