i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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