I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
