One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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