part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
