Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I could make wine with my vomit
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
