I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You need a sexual gate keeper
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
