Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
