Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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