I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
