i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
