you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
