youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
