Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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