She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
