Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
