i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
