Farmville is her only friend.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize