just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
