I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
