If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize