Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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