its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
